We
had nearlytwo and a half years since the first diagnosis of terminal stage 4 bowel cancer
and very soon after that it metastasized into liver and lung.
At the outset we sobbed on our walks and struggled to cope with the news, but soon resolved to just try and live in the present. To do everything we could do and not fall down the bottomless well of despair as this would rob us of our time together and our love.
We managed along this path pretty well right up to the last 4 months at which point the cancers which had for a while been held in check by first the radio and then chemo therapies, suddenly leapt forward like a wildfire. Wendy became bright yellow overnight, developed other problems and her ability to join in or even be with people diminished on a rapid decline.
Throughout all this, my beloved sweetheart gently accepted every increased indignity with perfect patience. She has always had a remarkable bright heart and would never allow her spirit to be downcast in self destructive gloom. Her natural example is why I try to live in the moment, because here is where the love lives on even despite the suffering of death-trauma and the endless pain of the loss of my love.
I accept that her spirit is now here in my heart and remember how that had always sounded like such a tired old platitude. In this changed new world I have entered however it is full of meaning. Everything is different.
The only way for me to stay in the light of our love is to let the distractions of this world sail away while we walk our newly quiet path together....
Dancing in light, now and forever xx ~
At the outset we sobbed on our walks and struggled to cope with the news, but soon resolved to just try and live in the present. To do everything we could do and not fall down the bottomless well of despair as this would rob us of our time together and our love.
We managed along this path pretty well right up to the last 4 months at which point the cancers which had for a while been held in check by first the radio and then chemo therapies, suddenly leapt forward like a wildfire. Wendy became bright yellow overnight, developed other problems and her ability to join in or even be with people diminished on a rapid decline.
Throughout all this, my beloved sweetheart gently accepted every increased indignity with perfect patience. She has always had a remarkable bright heart and would never allow her spirit to be downcast in self destructive gloom. Her natural example is why I try to live in the moment, because here is where the love lives on even despite the suffering of death-trauma and the endless pain of the loss of my love.
I accept that her spirit is now here in my heart and remember how that had always sounded like such a tired old platitude. In this changed new world I have entered however it is full of meaning. Everything is different.
The only way for me to stay in the light of our love is to let the distractions of this world sail away while we walk our newly quiet path together....
Dancing in light, now and forever xx ~
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